We need to kill lifted truck drivers with those blinding fucking LED headlights

2 min read · 449 words

Society, as put forth by philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau, is a system put in place through implicit agreements to exchange certain individual freedoms for the greater benefit, cooperation, and cohesion of the group.

There is a growing epidemic of individuals who willfully choose to forgo this "social contract" and exercise their own personal liberties to the detriment of others—in a very "fuck you, not my problem" manner of thinking. These hemorrhoids of society are none other than those pavement princesses who deem it necessary to elevate their truck cabins an additional meter above the ground and employ the highest-lumen headlights they can scour the internet for with their two and a half functioning brain cells.

While it is not my preferred method of transportation, I have driven trucks before. They have a purpose, and (unfortunately increasingly niche) models such as the Toyota Hilux are imperative for "getting the job done"—i.e. doing real work such as hauling materials.

Owners of vehicles such as these are real, hard-working members of society. Members of society, who consciously or unconsciously contribute to the betterment of the world around them.

Lifted truck drivers do not think about the world around them. They only care about the individual—about themselves. Lifted truck drivers decide that they are higher and mightier than the rest of us "plebeians" and decide to display it physically—literally raising themselves above society.

They decide the physical health of those around them is of no importance to themselves, opting to install the power of the sun in their headlights, now perfectly raised to the eye-level of the innocent drivers in front of them, creating a genuine safety hazard when said drivers can't fucking see anymore because they're being blinded by someone with the IQ of a candy bracelet.

People like these, the lifted truck drivers with blinding LED headlights of our society, must be dealt with. If they choose to willingly forgo the duties they have to society, the duties they must fulfill in order to keep the wheel turning, then they must be removed from society. We cannot allow those who disregard society to participate in society. I propose we kill them.

At the very least, we can extract the benefits they lost through forced labour. Why exploit the innocent common man who shows neighborly kindness when there are those who have nothing but disdain for their fellow man? Though if that gets too much, we can just kill them.

I think I legally have to say that this is a satirical article, and that I cannot actually advocate for murder, no matter how potentially great the net gains may be. We seriously need to fucking do something about those LED headlights though.